So, my plans for a second Whole 30 kind of flew out the window soon after I started. My husband is on a TDY (away from home for training) many states away from us. He'll be gone for a little over a month and I think it was very optimistic of me to go for another round of very strict eating with the extra stress of him being gone. I dearly love my children, but it is very difficult to do some things like just grocery shop with both of them in tow. I have alot of respect for single parents and homeschooling mothers of young children..
Add to that the fact that I am a big-time stress eater. I know it's my trigger.. the boys will start fighting as soon as they get up, I'll start grinding my teeth and looking for something sweet to eat. My thought process always goes something like this - "This is so stupid!! I can't even have creamer!! I don't care enough about this diet. I'm just going to have a whole damn box of girl scout cookies. I deserve it." Then I'll move onto the next thing in the house until my stomach hurts and I'm walking around like a zombie at 11am from the super fun ride I just took myself on the insulin roller coaster.
At the end of the night I'll think that I messed up that day, but that each new day is a fresh start. Then repeat above paragraph. So, I think I've just been having many weeks of false starts.
In sports, a false start is a movement by a participant before (or in some cases after) being signaled or otherwise permitted by the rules to start. (thank you Wikipedia)
I think that in my case I've been so gung-ho about doing super-strict diet challenges that I didn't really wait until all the circumstances in my life would signal or permit me to start. I got so bent out of shape about doing things super-strict that when the stress of my situation got to me, I would do a 180 and start eating totally anti-primal/paleo/whole30. I would skip the creamer in my coffee because it wasn't Whole 30 approved and later eat a bowl of ice cream out of frustration and to give myself some sense of pleasure or satisfaction in a stressful situation I could really escape.
So, until my husband gets home - I'm taking a break. I'm going to have my creamer, wine, and other primal-friendly foods. Because I do want and deserve those sensible indulgences. Life is for living and enjoying and if you aren't doing those two things - you're doing something wrong. I was doing something wrong for me.
Saturday I go to pick up a whole pig from our farmer and I will do the promised pastured pig post that night!
Be well.
